Saturday, August 01, 1998

Fiction: Put Yourself In Her Place

"You know, honey," she said petulantly, "I'm sick of you treating me like a sex object. All you ever want me to wear is lingerie. How come you don't have to wear anything like this to turn me on??"

"Because you're a woman."

"So?"

"Women look great in lingerie."

"Would you wear lingerie if it made you look good? Cause God knows you don't as you are. . ."

"Lingerie's for women. Why would I want to wear women's underwear?"

"What if I thought you looked good in it?"

"I wouldn't feel comfortable in it."

"You think I feel comfortable like this?"

"Why shouldn't you? You look incredible!"

"I feel like a slut. This stuff isn't made for comfort, you know. It's just too revealing. I feel silly."

"Oh, don't feel that way! Won't you wear it just for me?"

"It's just not fair, that's all. I'd like to see how you'd feel if I just sat there in my gitch and watched you parade around in tight silky frilly panties and a garter belt and a bra. . ."

"That's a bit different I think."

"How so?"

"Well, those things are made for women."

"I disagree. They're made for men who want to make women feel silly."

"Gimme a break."

"No, I insist. You wear the lingerie this time. I'm sick of it."

"You must be joking."

"No. I'm dead serious." She took off her bra, and tossed it onto his lap. Then she began unhooking her stockings.

"What, you actually expect me to wear this?"

"Why not? I had to wear it for you!"

"Yeah, but. . ."

"But what?"

"It's a bra."

"No shit."

"Bras are for women."

"No woman would ever actually want to wear a bra. Do you realize how constricting and uncomfortable those things are? Bras are for men. Men like looking at bras. Well, now it's my turn. I want to see you wear it. And I want to see you wear these ridiculous little panties and these stockings and this garter belt, too."

"I can't do that."

"Why not? I thought you liked my lingerie."

"I love it- on you."

"Well, you picked it out, not me. If I have to wear what you want, then you should have to wear what I want you to. And I want you to wear this lingerie outfit."

"All right. Fine." His face was almost purple. It wasn't rage. He looked nervous. I think he was sweating.

"What, are you afraid?"

"No."

"Are you scared of what people will think? Nobody has to know. Just me."

"All right, I said. I'll put it on."

And he did.

"Well, then. You look gorgeous!"

"Oh, shut up."

"How do you like it? Do you feel sexy? Or is it uncomfortable?"

"Shut up."

"You have an awfully big boner."

He almost burst with embarrassment. He was speechless.

"Don't try to hide it. I think you look adorable in a bra. If only you shaved your legs, you'd look beautiful."

"I don't see what you'd complain about, you know."

"I'm not complaining."

"I mean when you wear the lingerie."

"Why? Do you like it?"

"It's pretty comfortable."

She snorted. "You like it!"

"It's really not so bad."

"I'm really happy for you."

"It's all smooth and form-fitting."

"I can't believe this. Are you serious?"

"Yes. It's comfy. I like it."

"You actually enjoy wearing my lingerie."

"I suppose."

"You're such a bullshitter. Take it off. You're making fun of me."

"No, I'm serious."

"Enough, already. You've made your point."

"What point?"

"That I shouldn't complain about wearing lingerie."

"I just can't understand why you'd feel uncomfortable. I even feel a little sexy."

"Just take it off and let's get on with it."

"Could it wait a bit?"

"Why?"

"I don't want to take this off. It feels really nice."

"Please stop fucking around. It's not funny anymore."

"No, I'm serious. I'm seriously horny. This is amazing!"

"Alright. Whatever."

"Hey, you wanted me to wear it. But you were right. Lingerie is for men. I always thought women looked so good in their underwear. There's something. . . intimate about women's underwear. It's incredibly sexy. And I feel sexy wearing it."

"You're starting to scare me."

"Can I try on some of your other stuff? Like your bathing suits? Your bikini? A mini-skirt?"

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