Showing posts with label silk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label silk. Show all posts

Fiction: Captured in the Battle of the Sexes

This time, an image of a perfect specimen of femininity in a little off-white sequined dress, standing with hands on a rail.  The dress is not extremely tight, but enough to lovingly caress the hips, gently holding tight, curvaceous buttocks.  It drapes the thighs down to the tops of the knees; long, smooth, bronze legs, firm and sinuous, yet sensuously curvy, support that perfectly round little tush.  How did you learn so quickly to carry yourself that way?

Another image, relating back to the last story about the literal battle of the sexes: the men are crucified, still wearing their camouflage fatigues.  They are surrounded by their female captors.  They stoically resist, as they have been trained.  They will not succumb to femininity.  They are men of stone, steadfast and determined.  They are masculine to the unshakeable core, the mightiest, most virile men.  They all face a huge stage, backed by a massive screen.  Each of them watches the podium with trepidatious composure.  Their resolve rests upon the sanctity and purity of each man’s individual machismo, backed by confidence in each other’s strength, and ultimately held together by their illustrious godlike leader: a man so strong-willed, and so unquestionably virile that no woman can but fall to her knees and beg for his affections.  This man commands their hearts, their minds, their lives.  He is their foundation.  Together, they are the last of the army of men.  They know that they are incorruptible, because of his leadership.  He is the last hope; they are his elite guard.  The situation is grim, but they all suspect that their leader will somehow pull them out, perhaps by seducing and overpowering his would-be captors and bending them to his will.  One hundred men depend on it.

(Here the fantasy splits into two scenarios)

One: The video screen behind the stage shows a man on a cross near the front of the forest of men.  A bevy of gorgeous half-naked women begin to slink around him seductively, mussing up his hair and feeling his powerful chest.  They fiddle with the buttons of his uniform, slowly undoing them.  They begin to unbutton his shirt.  He squirms with discomfort.  Some of the men envy his luck, but wonder why he cringes.  Soon the women tug at his undershirt.  What is that beneath his white tank top?  A wide tuft of black chest hair?  Not surprising on such a man.  But no, it shimmers.  A thin black band rises from his pectoral to his shoulder.  His chest appears covered with something, but he’s shifting his body away from the camera.  Good God, it can’t be!  The women have now pulled back the camouflage shirt, and torn away one half of Johnson’s tank top, revealing a lace-trimmed brassiere.  The men gasp in horror.  One of their number was a traitor all along.  How could they have trusted him?  He has stopped resisting, and his femininely adorned chest becomes fully exposed.  He bows his head in shame.  The women who stripped him laugh at him cruelly as they undo his pants and pull down his boxers.  His panties match the bra.  He endures the hateful glares of his companions.

Now the camera cuts to Terwilligger, at the opposite end of the crowd.  He pleads for them to stop.  Him too, wonder the others, as another gaggle of lithe young hotties slowly strips him to an unmistakably feminine panty and bra set.  He weeps with embarrassment as the other men begin to mutter in disbelief.

Next went Smith, who wore a string bikini.  Then Parish in just panties.  Wang in his one piece swimsuit came after that.  Then Dalton.  Then Lee.  Then Patel, Schmidt, Torres, Garcia, Hakkannen, Visniewski, Dekembe, Miller, Groulx, and Santini.  One by one, the men were exposed in women’s skivvies.  By the time they had lost 20 men, those remaining began to question each other’s virility.  If so many could be traitors, how could anyone tell if the man he shared a tent with was another traitorous fairy?  Bolton harshly accused Silverman, who shook visibly with apprehension.  They came for Bolton first, revealing him in his frilly white silks to Silverman, who turned out to only have been hiding a garter.

After exactly half of them had been exposed, the women asked for volunteers.  Any man who spoke up now would be spared the humiliation of being stripped before his peers.  MacPherson, Moore, Cadieux, and Vandenburgh all screamed like the sissies they were, and were untied and sent to the stage.  Seeing that they weren’t being molested, seven more piped up.  All told, 23 men were too cowardly to get stripped down.  When it became evident that no others would give up, these men were made to strip anyway, one by one, to burlesque music.  Most were happy to have found asylum, and strutted like supermodels in their various lingerie outfits.  It was easy for them, since they knew that the traitors outnumbered the loyalists.  Once they had each proclaimed their abject femininity, they lined up on the stage holding hands.

There now remained 28 men.  Fifteen more were exposed.  Every one of the first 87 men exposed had something girlish to hide.  At last, Maartens turned out to be clean.  So did Franks, Julien, Chung, and the leader, Meyer.  All the others were sissies.

All told, 95 of the hundred last men were already corrupted.  Only five had remained true to their gender.

Now the women asked the 5 remaining naked men if they wanted to convert now to avoid the shame of being effeminated aggressively, publicly, and ruthlessly.  Chung begged for mercy, and he was given a French maid’s uniform, which he put on greedily and expertly.  Franks caved in, too, and was given a tight little bikini, which he struggled getting into, but appeared to enjoy when he got it on.  Then they let go all the crucified sissies, since it was no longer possible to shame them since they were all transsexual anyway.

That left Maartens and Julien flanking their beloved leader Meyer.  Maartens and Julien relied on their captain to lead them out of their predicament.  They needed Meyer’s strength to pull them through.  Meyer defiantly refused to co-operate, and his henchmen followed his lead.

The women decked out Maartens like a whore.  He wore lingerie fancier and more feminine than any of the other men had ever even imagined themselves in in their wildest dreams.  He whimpered in distress, but Meyer encouraged him to remain manly, to be strong, to not let the feminine accoutrements destroy him.  Maartens held fast, although he struggled visibly to restrain himself from expressing his long-repressed feminine side.  Julien did not fare much better.

Meyer, however, was released from his cross, and made to dress himself.  He had to wear the whole deal.  He looked like a whore.  When they marched him to the stage, he quickly learned to wiggle his butt in those 3-inch heels.  The lace and silk were too much for him.  He crumpled at the feet of the queen and came all over himself.  Maartens and Julien wept with relief, and came too.


Scenario Two: Much the same as One, except only 25 or so men prove to be traitors.  The other 75 are stripped naked one by one, proudly showing up the women by being well-endowed and manly to the very skin.  The last man is the leader.  He is more defiant than any of the others.  It appears that the women, in spite of having won the final battle, will not be able to add insult to injury.  The women are truly in awe of Meyer as they apprehensively go about their task.  They know that they have lost, but they crave to see the manliest of men in all his naked glory.  They long to ride him.  The other men feel their strength returning.  They could break their bonds and overpower their captors, and make a desperate escape...

But wait: There is something under Meyer’s fatigues.  It’s a black silk corset with pink bows!  And a matching silk thong, garter belt, and stockings!  His skin is shaven smooth like a girl’s!  He’s laughing!  He’s shaking his girlish hips at his men in a seductive way.  He’s the most effeminate of them all! 

The men’s spirits sink, free-fall, splatter.  The women fall away from Meyer with mirth, and he breaks his bonds.  He then goes to each man in turn and sucks his cock, snowballing into the next man’s mouth.  Then each man is given a panty and bra set, and brutally effeminated.


Scenario Three: 99 men on crosses.  Then someone vaguely familiar appears on the stage.  She’s absolutely gorgeous in her sequined white dress.  What a gorgeous ass.  Is she a movie star?  Some kind of celebrity?  She steps up to the microphone and speaks.  In Meyer’s voice: “You’re all going to be girlies now.”

Of course, with scenario three, there are two further options: Meyer is either totally converted in a matter of seconds, much to his embarrassment, or he is already longing to become a girl, and has been leading his men to doom all along.


The conversion:

Meyer is led into a dark room with a spotlight in the middle and a mirror.  He is stripped naked and made to stand in the spotlight.  Someone tosses him a pink satin panty and bra set.  He reticently refuses to wear it.  The panty is a thong with snaps.  His arms are strapped to cables from the ceiling, and his ankles shackled to long chains on the ground.  Slowly the ceiling cables start moving apart, lifting him from the ground, and spreading his arms.  The chains also tighten from opposite ends of the room, leaving him suspended in air and spread eagled.  He is stretched so tightly that he cannot move.  A woman gingerly snaps the panties on, then the brassiere.  Meyer is made to face the mirror and contemplate how he looks in women’s underwear for 12 hours.

He remains mentally strong, and resists.  He tries uselessly to squirm out of his new underwear, but in the mirror he appears to be enjoying himself.  He stops struggling, and realizes that he can’t remain passive either, so he squirms some more.  He vacillates all night, determined to not betray his gender in spite of the circumstances.  He refuses to accept that he is doomed.  He convinces himself that no matter how feminine he looks as he tries hopelessly to squirm out of his panties and bra, it will not change him.  He convinces himself that if he can withstand this, he can withstand anything.

When they finally release him, they laugh when he does not immediately tear off his feminine underwear.  He instead massages his strained arms and legs.  When they laugh, he moves to undo the snaps on his panties, when he realizes how feminine this is.  His hand lingers on his hip.  Finally after a moment’s hesitation, he slides them down his legs and kicks them across the room.  He fumbles with the brassiere for five minutes before he can unclasp it, slide it off his shoulders, and fling it away. 

They then hand him a different panty and bra set.  He puts it on himself since they’re going to force him anyway.  They tie him up a bit more loosely this time.  He is horrified by what he sees in the mirror.  Every squirming movement of his hips only reinforces the feminizing effect of the panties.  He cannot abide it.  He must resist more!  He squirms harder and harder.  In the mirror he stares at a go-go dancer oozing sexuality.  With every movement, his defiance grows stronger.  Nothing can shake his manhood.  If these panties are the epitome of femininity, they cannot break him.  He squirms in defiant celebration.


When he awakens, his bonds have been released.  He does not know how long he has been sleeping in women’s underwear, unbound.  He feels humiliated and cheated, enough to slowly roll off his panties and snap off his bra.

Now they present him with a choice: a one-piece swimsuit, a string bikini, or black panty and bra set embroidered with red lace. 

Even though the swimsuit is less revealing, it is still unmistakably feminine.  It clings so tightly to his skin that he must squirm even harder to shake it loose.  His restraints are loose enough now that he can touch the straps of his bathing suit and rub his thighs together. 

The next time, he chooses the bikini.  It’s a test of his determination.  This time, the restraints are loose enough for him to squeeze his nipples as he withstands another onslaught of femininity. 

The next time, restraints are not necessary.  He dresses himself up in lingerie.  There is no longer any pretense of maintaining manhood.  Nothing is feminine enough.  He is given access to an entire inventory of women’s clothes.  He removes his body hair.  Not feminine enough.  He begins to take hormones.  Can’t get feminine fast enough.  He wears everything in the store to make himself more feminine.

Finally after only a week of feminization – all of it broadcast to his captured troops – he finds the little white sequined dress.  He is the girl in my imagination.  He goes out to his crucified men, and rubs his panties against their cocks.  They think he’s a girl until he speaks.  “You wouldn’t believe how good this feels,” he says between mouthfuls of cock.  “I can’t believe I resisted this at all!”



Fiction: Losing In Style

It’s such a release to wear your clothes, to turn myself into a sexy, gorgeous girl, like you.  It makes me feel so unbearably sexy when I pretend to be a girl.  It feels so naughty.  I should definitely not be doing it.  But it’s so much fun!  I love the way silk and satin feel on my skin.  More than that, I love the way your clothes are themselves innately feminine.  I love the way my wearing them obliterates any pretense I ever had of being masculine.  

I long to wipe my manhood away, and reveal myself for the woman that I am.  I long to transform myself into a girl, and do everything that real girls do with complete impunity. 

It starts when I make fun of homosexuals.  I laugh at them and denigrate them.  But my girl, she takes offence.  She says that my making fun of them is proof that I’m not comfortable with my own sexuality, and that the fact that I laugh at gays only betrays the fact that I am secretly like them, or at the very least that I secretly want to be gay.  She goes on with this ad nauseum.  I joke with her that she’s a lesbian, and would love to have pussy.  When she objects, I call her a hypocrite for being afraid of her own homosexuality.  So we make a bet: she says she’ll see me take a cock in the ass and in the mouth voluntarily in no more than 90 days; I say she won’t, but I’ll have her eating carpet by that time.  If I win, I get to have a threesome with her and another girl of my choice; if she wins, she gets to have a threesome with me and another guy.  In either case, the more numerous gender must perform lewd homosexual acts for the entertainment of the lone member of the opposite sex.


90 days is a very short time to completely transform any man, and especially me.  I ask her how she expects to do it (we stipulated at the time of the bet that there would be no force allowed, nor any psychological shanghaiing such as hypnosis, nor any surreptitious feeding of hormones or mind control drugs; it would all have to be done through conscious actions; she would have to win me over with convincing arguments) and she tells me that all she has to do is plant a seed in my head, and I’ll begin my slow but inevitable transformation immediately.  She also mentions that I won’t even know what the seed is until it starts to eat away at my façade of manhood.


She tells me that the only way I can avoid becoming a flaming faggot in 90 days is by wearing her underwear.
I laugh at this blatant contradiction.  More likely I would begin my hopeless spiral into gayness only if I did as she said.  



"So then," she says triumphantly, "you admit that it’s possible that you’re going to become a total raging cocksucker."  


"Never," I reply.  


"Then why are you afraid of wearing panties and a bra?"


"That would be gay.  Besides, that’s just your trick to get me to fall into your trap.  I will not make myself the least bit feminine for any reason."

With that the seed is planted.  I try to imagine how wearing women’s underwear could possibly save me from becoming a fag, but I just don’t see it.  Confident in my manhood, I start to imagine the ways I could convince girlie to develop a taste for pussy.  Visions of girls making out together dance in my head.  


I am pretty confident at this point.  I am so confident that I laugh some more about the idea that my wearing women’s underwear could somehow undermine my manhood.  I figure that I could probably do it and come out unscathed.  Nothing can change what I am.


She starts to taunt me when we make love.  She tells me to imagine what it’s like for a girl when she gets to have a big fat dick slide inside her.  She tells me to picture what a girl tastes when she has a mouthful of cock.  Meanwhile, I proselytize about the wonders of femininity, about how incredibly sexy women are, and how she knows it.  I convince her that she looks at fashion magazines because she knows how pretty girls are, and she wants to taste one.  This gets me hotter than hell.  I love thinking about her fucking another girl.  Girls everywhere.  Nothing but girl.  Girrrrrl girl girl woman girl girl girl girlie girl.


Somehow, my appreciation of girls becomes tainted with the graphic detail my girlie gave when describing how it feels to have cock inside her.  I begin to imagine being a girl.  Not fucking or anything, just being.  Being sexy and girlish and curvy and effeminate.  I know what makes girls sexy, and I can feel it all over myself.  By day 30 I’m worried sick about losing the bet.  I can’t stop thinking about how sexy it must feel to be a girl.  Every time becomes more intense.  Soon I start fantasizing about actually wearing her panties.  The idea makes me incredibly horny.  I figure, it’s gotta be worth a shot.  Maybe she wasn’t kidding, and wearing her panties will save me from these nasty thoughts.


The moment I put them on, as my knees quiver and buckle while I collapse in a sexual heap of girl-mad femininity, I realize that it was a trick, that I had now lost all hope of ever winning the bet.  Worse, this realization filled me with unbridled ecstasy.  While I wore those panties and that bra, I rejoiced in the fantasy that they would turn me momentarily into a complete perfect female, and that I could start fucking and sucking dicks forthwith.  I pictured myself as a girl, with a big fat cock in my pussy, in my mouth, and luxuriating in every second of it.  I could feel the bra shaping my chest into a pair of full, perky tits; I felt the panties mould my butt into a cute little round girlie’s ass, and suck in my waist, and wither away my precious cock into a delicate, delicious cunt.  And when I came I turned livid with shame and put it all away never to be spoken of or thought about again.


That’s when I knew that she wasn’t kidding after all.  The experience of wearing her panties showed me just how close I am to becoming a flaming homosexual.  I could never even think of doing it again for as long as I live.


Just to be sure, I repeated the experience with all kinds of lingerie, swimwear, and anything else I could think of.  That ought to teach me.


By day 60, I could no longer pretend that I could win.  This is when I realized that my pride wasn’t worth giving up the intense pleasure of being feminine.  I couldn’t help but celebrate by buying my own lingerie and electrolyzing off all my unsightly body hair.  I still kept up appearances for girlie’s sake, because I wanted to surprise her.  I sucked my first dick on day 75.  I got fucked in the ass the very next day.


I manage to surprise girlie on day 89 by contriving to have her walk in on me sucking and fucking dick simultaneously while wearing my own babydoll and fishnet stockings.  From then on, we become like sisters, except we have a threesome with this gorgeous hunk of a guy to seal the bet.


Diary: Shopping List and Epiphany

I am contemplating some new purchases and experiences, while simultaneously struggling with a recent epiphany.

I have recently discovered that girls find me attractive, especially since I slightly modified my appearance when I moved to California.  This realization, and my quick little tryst with N__, have clarified something for me which I have never been able to reconcile before: I wear women’s clothes because I need something feminine in my life.  It’s really as simple as that.  I desperately want there to be a girl in my house, who surrounds herself with girlish things, and who displays all the physical and behavioural aspects of womanhood.  
I would probably settle for having a girl in my presence as often as possible.  I have found myself talking to girls in airports, and hanging around with them at parties, not because I feel any pressure to be with them, but because I crave their proximity.  Of course, in the absence of girls, I must make do with what’s available.  Being a solitary type of person, this more often than not means that I must rely on women’s clothes if I can’t have women themselves; and I might as well make myself my own feminine company if I can’t find any genuine women.


It all makes sense now.  I am obsessed with femininity, as I should be.  It is only my shyness and loneliness that make me want to be feminine myself.  I routinely imagine how much fun it would be to have a girl around, in all her pretty girlie things.  I wouldn’t have to wear them myself (although I know I’d be tempted) but it would be so much fun to be around such absolute girlhood.  Girl girl girl girl girl girl girrrrrrl.  I love them!  I worship them!

So now I struggle again with my impulse to make myself more feminine.  I love making myself feminine.  I love pretending to be a girl.  I love being as girlish as I can be.  I love striving to become a girl.  I love abandoning my manhood completely so I can enjoy girlishness in all its glory.  It’s so much more controllable.  There is no complexity in being alone.  I don’t need to worry about satisfying anyone but myself.  But I can’t ever have real actual genuine girlishness by myself: I can only simulate it at best, even if I go as far as taking hormones and getting a sex change.  There is a charm to me in going that far, just because it shows a true dedication, an utter capitulation, to femininity.  Meanwhile, I am still too chickenshit to ever publicly reveal my own feminine side, much less make myself feminine in any way that might be noticeable to anyone.


This is where I start pondering some of the things I’d like to do in the near future.  For starters, I need to improve my wardrobe.  I need a few key items to make myself truly a closet sissy.  Namely, I need some black fishnet stockings, off-white silk or satin bikini panties with a matching bra, a pair of two-inch sandals, and tight silk or satin nightgown, and a mini-dress of some sort.  However, I am constantly fantasizing about more swimsuits, much more than lingerie.  For some reason, even though I own three bikinis and two one-piece swimsuits, I want more.  I can’t get enough!  There’s something about swimwear that makes me crazy.  As much as I’d love being in public dressed like a girl, there’d be nothing more electrifying than doing so at the beach, in swimwear!  The thought fills me with sexual energy.  But I must resist the urge to get more swimsuits until I satisfy my need for the garments named above.  I could always use more panties and bras, too.


Another thing that I need is a dildo.  This dildo must be unmistakably penis-shaped.  I don’t care about the colour or whether or not it vibrates; I just want to have something as similar to a real cock inside me at times.  I want to feel it wiggling inside me, pumping in and out.  I’ve even been fantasizing about the real thing!  I’d love to secretly slip away into the night, make myself into a girl, and seduce some homo pervert who likes she-males.  I want to know what it’s like to suck cock, and to have a guy pumping me in the ass like I’m a girl.  I fantasize about somehow meeting somebody at the lingerie store when I go buy my things, and experimenting with some casual faggot sex.  Yes, I want to get fucked like a girl!  I want to have sex with men!


Now I wonder if I’ll ever have the nerve to try it.  I doubt I’ll ever even show anybody my fetish in action, much less suck cock.


Diary: I Want To Be Effeminated

I don't know what it is about it, but I need to wear women's underwear.  The desire is overpowering.  I want to be effeminated.  Girls look so good in those outfits, and I just want the privilege of looking that way, too.  I want the tits, I want the soft, hairless skin, I want the delicate curves, I want the round little empty crotch.  I want to be enveloped in lace and silk and flowers and little skinny straps and dainty elastics.

Fiction: Affirmation

OK, that didn't work.  Took all the fun right out of it.

For the millionth time, let's get wrapped up in a fantasy:

What's more exciting?  A fantasy about a first-timer, or the uncovering of a regular?  Or the obliteration of shame by affirming femininity?  Really, it all comes down to the affirmation, doesn't it?  No matter what the story, the fun only really starts when the man discovers that he likes being a woman better.  It doesn't even matter how it happens.

It started innocently enough (as it always does in these stories).  It was just a lark, a joke, when I dressed up like a girl the first time.  It was sorta funny, you know.  It was, I suppose a mistake.  I had been wearing bikini underwear for years before I actually noticed the label.  I thought it was sexy and masculine, in the way that it was tight and skimpy.  But the label clearly says, "Women's" on it.  I don't know how I missed it.  I don't know how I could have bought it without knowing what it was.  But there it was, clear as day.  All this time I had been wearing women's underwear.


You can understand how crestfallen I was.  


I had never even imagined wearing women's clothes before.  The thought never crossed my mind.  If it did, I immediately dismissed it as frivolous.  Imagine: a ladies' man like me wearing ladies' underwear.  Absurd!  Yet there I was, for years, doing just that.


What difference does it make, I thought to myself.  It's the intentions that count, isn't it?  I thought they were men's.  I had no intention of wearing women's underwear.  They don't look feminine at all, but I'll admit that they were certainly tight enough to look awfully good on a girl.  So what's the big deal?  Nobody knows but me, anyway.


That's what I thought on the surface.  Underneath, subconsciously, it was a different story.  A little seed had planted itself in my mind, and I didn't even know it.  I suppose it's a mental association thing: the first little thought brought on a whole chain- no, a tree- of others, all derived from that little seed.  Me, wearing women's underwear.  Imagine me wearing sexy lace panties, a bra, and even a garter belt.  I banished those thoughts as soon as they entered my mind.  I was worried.  I vowed to never wear those briefs again.
Of course, it didn't work out that way.  I had to admit that I couldn't stay away from them.  They were comfortable, damnit.  And they made me horny.  They made me think of women wearing lingerie.  How could I resist that thought?  A pure, wholesome, heterosexual male thought.  Except it was different, somehow.  I was fixated on the lingerie.  Now THAT's women's underwear, I thought, as I salivated thinking about it, not this unisex crap I'm wearing.  


I used to drive myself to climax in that underwear.  I'd fantasize about girls and their sexy underthings.  Somehow, the thought that I was wearing girlie underthings too made me hornier.  I felt so subversive.  I knew what I was doing, I thought at the time.  When I was done, I'd feel just awful, like I would have to change out of them.  I felt ashamed, and I didn't understand why.


It became pretty clear soon enough.  I would think about those panties, and think of them in those terms, and get horny.  I got a strange kick out of reading the label before putting them on.  Nobody knows the difference, I thought, except me.  And it struck me: I'm wearing women's underwear, on purpose, and it makes me horny.  


The realization floored me.  This could only damage my masculinity, I thought, and became even more aroused.  This is so wrong, I thought, but it feels so good.  Before I knew it, I was masturbating, imagining myself becoming more and more feminine every time I wore these panties.  While I stroked myself, I didn't care what it did to my manhood.  Girlhood felt so incredibly good that I wanted more and more of it.  I felt so sexy.  Then I came, and came right back to earth.  I was so ashamed, and I threw the panties back into my dresser in self-disgust.


I worried about what was happening to me.  I tried to resist, but I couldn't.  When I got horny, it was because I was thinking of wearing something feminine again.  I didn't limit my imagination to my own panties, though.  I fantasized about wearing silky and lacy lingerie, two-piece bikini bathing suits and tight sexy women's swimsuits.  I was possessed.  Soon I couldn't stop myself from trying.  I had to have more than my panties.  They weren't even real women's underwear.  I decided to get my hands on a one-piece swimsuit, because it wasn't so extreme as a lingerie outfit or a bikini.  I couldn't just dive into something like that.  I wanted to, but I was afraid.  I didn't want to lose control.


I already had, of course.  Still, I took it slowly.  Painfully slowly.  I stole the swimsuit from my sister one day when I visited.  She never suspected.  I snuck into her room and rifled her dresser, stuffing it down my pants when I found it.  When I got home, I couldn't wait to put it on.  But I didn't trust it.  I kept my own manly underwear on to protect me.  I feared that the naked suit on me would be too much of a shock.


Even with my underwear to protect me, it was a phenomenal experience.  It was so snug on my body, and so smooth.  I loved fondling girls in their bathing suits.  I loved how tightly they caressed female bodies.  And now, here I was, wearing one myself.  I didn't dare finish myself at first.  It was just too much.  So I took it off, and hid it in my dresser.  The thought of it tortured me for minutes, until I decided to pull it out again, and finish what I had started.  Only I desperately wanted to feel it against my naked crotch.  I moaned in amazement when I finally had it on.  I couldn't believe what I was doing.  I felt so feminine, and I felt so incredibly good.  Until after I came, that is.


Amazing, isn't it, the way desires can so cloud the mind?  I was so disgusted with myself.  I slinked out of my sister's bathing suit, and wondered how I could ever get it back into her dresser.  There were stains all over it now.  I couldn't dare wash it: it would look awfully conspicuous in then laundromat.  I felt stupid and lecherous and perverted.  This fantasy was wearing away my masculinity.


These misgivings only lasted a short while until I got horny again.  I never did give that swimsuit back.  I wore it as often as I wanted to.  Which was pretty well daily.  I frolicked girlishly in it, imagining that I was trapped in its tight, elastic femininity, and that I couldn't get out of it.  The intense pleasure that I experienced from it was simply the magical process of my body becoming effeminate.  Yes, I wanted desperately to escape from it, because I didn't want to become a girl; yet it felt so wonderful that I wanted even more desperately to wear it forever, or better yet, take it off and wear something even sexier, like a matching lace bra panty and garter belt set, or a bikini swimsuit.  I simultaneously hoped and feared that I would become a girl if I continued.


I became so disgusted with myself that I threw the swimsuit in the garbage, vowing to never wear women's clothes again.  But it didn't work.  My cravings became much worse, because I had no more outlet for them.  So I stole panties from my sister.  Only this time, rather than just stuff them into my pants, I went to the bathroom to put them on under my own underwear.  That way, I would get to try them on at the same time as I concealed them more effectively.


The panties were white and frilly.  They were gorgeous.  The trouble was that I missed a bra.  I needed one to feel the full femininity.  I eventually stole that, too.  I pleasured myself relentlessly in my sister's underwear.  I began to fantasize about buying myself some lingerie.


It had gotten too easy to steal from my sister.  I knew that she had a bikini, so I planned to steal that, too.  I longed for one day and night, because I had never worn one before.  She caught me red-handed, rummaging through her dresser.  I must have been white as a ghost.  She knew exactly what I was doing, knew exactly where her other clothes had vanished.  


"So, you like my underwear, do you?"


I had to deny it.  "What are you talking about?"


"I've caught you red-handed.  Admit it: you want to wear my underwear, you sissy faggot pantywaist!"

She made me take off all my clothes in front of her, and put on her bikini.  Somehow, she read my mind.  I felt ridiculous.

So she took me to the store, and made me buy lingerie for myself, as well as all sorts of women's clothes.  She turned me into a girl.


Fiction: I Can't Wear That!

[transcribed from a notebook]

“I can't wear that!”

“Why not?!?”

“I'm not a girl!”

I stared at the panties and bra dangling from my fingers like dead things. What was I doing even holding them? I could hadly reconcile my body and those undies in my mind.

“That's not the point!” she retorted.

“Then what is?”

She stared hard at me, like she couldn't believe that I could seriously ask such a silly question. “Well, you want me to, and always have. That's the point.”

I was dumfounded. How could she believe that I've always wanted to wear women's underwear? Is it even possible? Here in my hand I have the epitome of femininity, and I am supposed to have dreamed of defiling myself with it since childhood? Maybe defile is the wrong word. It's not like there's anything the least bit bad about women's lingerie. In fact, it's one of my favourite things: girls look so beautiful in it. Sometimes I think that they derive their femininity from their clothes. It's amazing how much difference clothes can make to a woman's sex apeal.

“See?” she said. “If you could see the way you're drolling over my undies! You despereately want to wear them.”

Me? Wearing this?  How could I? It's made for girls. I'm not a girl. It's just impossible. To think – that gorgeous girlish silk and satin and lace, stretched tight on my crotch, and across my chest. I can't help but picture what's supposed to go into it: sexy female anatomy. I try to picture myself in it, but all I see is female and sexy and gorgeous. It makes me horny.

“You've fondled me in those undies. You know how soft they are. They fascinate you in their femininity, don't they? Just imagine... imagine them on you.”

I feel so naughty. I know that I shouldn't, but my thoughts turn to fantasies. I picture myself as a girl, wearing these panties, and looking irresistibly girlish. I'm thinking about it. And I'm probably blushing, because it's turning me on.

“You might as well go ahead,” she says. “I know you want to.”

“I just... can't! It's so, so bad...”

“How can you say that? You know you'll like it.”

“I feel like I'm betraying my manhood.”

“It's already too late. Just thinking about it the way you are pretty well condemns you, doesn't it?”

This bit of wisdom turns me on that much more. Sheepishly, I slink into the undies. Instantly, I notice the difference in fit, and texture. So this is what it's like to be a girl.

This is Becoming a Habit

 I'm on another business trip, and as is becoming usual, I bought myself some nail polish and makeup. I bought a cheap makeup box on Ama...