Thursday, March 15, 2012

The Trouble with Secrecy

I very recently became a father. Since my wife is in no condition to have sex yet, I have no other outlet for my raging desires other than some barely satisfying dry humping, and my ever-rarer secret girlification sessions.

Of course, this would be much easier if only she knew and approved of my intense desire to become feminine, but she doesn't, and I'm not ready for her to find out, especially now. Therefore, my ability to indulge, and even to write about it, is severely curtailed.

I would love to let her in on my secret, but it's so far past the point of keeping a secret now that it's a terrible lie. I truly and deeply love her, and my new baby, and I wouldn't dare jeopardize my relationship with them both. As much as I love to fantasize about being a girl, my public life has time and again proven to be more important to me. Forced to choose, I choose my family.

All the same, I am unable to give up my compulsion. I sneak into a bikini and heels the moment she leaves the house, whenever I'm sure she'll be gone for a while. And I love every second of it! I don't think I can ever completely give it up, but I can't imagine that it's going to remain this easy to hide my habit from my growing family forever. Therefore, I have to indulge while I still can.