Saturday, November 15, 1997

Diary: Fully Dressed

Now, I've gone pretty far.  It's been a while since I've been able to update this document, but lots has happened.  I've had to hide my stash.  I put it in a locker at the [shopping mall].  I had to wear some of A__'s underwear for the past few weeks.  One time I actually did retrieve my magic bag from the locker.  Then I put it back.  But this time, it's gone.  I went to get it again, but the key didn't turn.  My stuff is as good as gone.  

That really put me off.  I was looking forward to looking like a girl tonight.  I had a big plan.  I knew that A__ was leaving for the night.  I could sleep alone.  So that means that I can take advantage of her absence to wear women's underwear.  I planned to get my stuff from my locker after work, get home, and change into my lingerie outfit.  Then I would have put on my outerwear over top and gone to the bank and the grocery store, and no one would have noticed, except me.  But that fell apart when I discovered that I couldn't have my stash anymore.  Then I got home and A__ was waiting for me.  She didn't leave until 7:15.  I went shopping in my own clothes.  

I was determined, however, to wear something.  I wanted to do it all.  I want this to be the night that I wear women's clothes all night.  I've tried many times, but failed.  So I took off and came back.  I wanted to check out [the local discount stores], to see what they might have.  I eventually returned from the supermarket to find an empty apartment.  I had decided to try the lingerie store on [the nearest major street].

It took a little while.  I was a very calm and deliberate shopper.  I know what I want to wear.  So I settled on a stretch lace teddy, a garter belt, and some black nylon stockings.  It cost me $60!  But I have my fix now.
I've gone as far as I dare right now.  I'm wearing my new outfit.  I cooked myself dinner with it on under my clothes.  But now, after dinner, I'm wearing A__'s black mini-skirt and her white button-up t-shirt.  I put on makeup for only the second time ever, and I didn't feel the least bit apprehensive about it.  I put on eyeliner, eyeshadow, mascara, and lipstick.  I preened myself in the mirror.  My God, what a transformation!  I might even look sexy, If I could shave my body hair!  My legs look gorgeously sexy in these nylons, and that mini-skirt.  My face even looks feminine.  I'm as much like a girl now as I can be.  The only thing I need now is a shave!  I even let my hair down, which really helps a lot.

I have never gone nearly this far.  I wish I could do this all the time.  I've been fantasizing about escaping for a month or so, somewhere where no one can find me, and shaving every hair off my body, and becoming totally feminine for at least one whole day and night.  I would put on makeup, a dress, lingerie underneath, and be totally cleanly shaven.  Then I would sleep in a nightgown, wake up, and wear women's underwear for the whole time I'm there.  That would be so incredible!  I desperately want to do it, but it won't happen for at least another year.  And now, for a little fantasy...

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