Thursday, December 05, 1996

Diary: Lesbians

Okay, before I begin, I have to at least mention a newly elaborated fantasy closely related to this.  I'm talking about LESBIANS.

Watching TV the other night, I was struck by a conclusion to an avant-garde Canadian comedy called The Newsroom.  The hero, a sleazy news director at the CBC, wanted to hire a stupid pretty bimbo to run his errands for him.  He gets the perfect one to work for him.  She's very pretty, and extremely sexy.  The sexual tension between them was quite subtle, but well done.  There was also a lesbian, who was way over-qualified.  He did not hire her.  She threatened to sue.  So he eventually hired them both.  

In the end, he invited the bimbo out to have lunch, but she denied him.  Why?  Predictably, because she was in the process of discovering a new aspect of her life, an exciting new aspect.  She had developed a sexual relationship with the lesbian.  This was so incredibly shocking as to seem distasteful.  What a stunning blow.  That must be the most painful shock to the male ego imaginable.  I was flabergasted.  

But I was also acutely aroused.  The thought of lesbians making love is incredibly arousing.  I can just picture two perfect female bodies, in underwear, coming together coyly, and start shyly touching each other, at first innocently, then quite deliberately, then sensually, then sexually.  And I get a thundering erection.  

Now, just picture this from my perspective: I'm the one who desires both these exquisite female bodies.  I'm the one who wants to fondle them both.  I'm the one who wants to see two pairs of tits bouncing off of each other.  I'm the one who wants to see two girls' bellies rubbing against each other.  I want to be there too.  I think I want to be one of the girls.  I imagine being in the bimbo's place, exploring a new part of my sexuality, innocently, coyly, and discovering the intense pleasure of pussy.  This is closely related to my fantasy of being female.  I get the best possible scenario: I become female myself, and I get to have sex with girls, and I get to see two lesbians going at it.  Is that what I really long for?  I've often come to that exact point in my fantasies.  But not always. . .

Anyway, the true reason for my adding to this.

I have thought of a story, after all these years of drivelling my fantasies at night.  It's something like the metamorphosis, only the hero becomes a woman.  I know I thought of it before, but never so explicitly.  It's not exactly the same.  It can happen in two ways: suddenly and completely, or slowly and gradually.  I can't decide how to start.

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