Wednesday, January 10, 1996

Commentary: A Fascinating Omission

There is a fascinating omission in my diary at this point. I had just bought lingerie, after years of longing, and shaven my legs for the first time in order to enjoy it that much more, and to feel that much more feminine. Note that I mentioned an upcoming ski trip.

It turned out that my leg hair hadn't grown back in time for the trip. I spent a week in a condo with a group of friends, hiding my legs. One of these friends, a girl, slept platonically in the same bed with me the whole week. This same girl, partly based on the time we spent together that week, would become my lover some weeks later.  She is henceforth referred to as A__.

It amazes me that I wouldn't mention this shameful experience at all in my diary. Or perhaps it partly accounts for the months-long gap in entries.  This was, after all, a celebration of my fetish, and such moments of shame and self-loathing had no place in it.  If anything, I kept the diary as a way to titillate myself into femininity.

Anyhow, it's an important incident, and worth mentioning.

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