Sunday, January 01, 1995

Diary: Science Says It's Possible!

How nice it is to think that my recent problems with women can be solved by admitting that I am a woman trapped inside a man's body.  My overwhelming desire to wear clothes designed to make girls extremely appealing, it arouses me to think kinkily, and is an obvious sign that my sexuality is innately feminine.  To rephrase, I wear women's underwear because I want to be a girl.  How compelling to think that I can just abandon my masculinity and become a girl by tossing off my male inhibitions and becoming a full-time transvestite.  I would feel so much more attractive and powerful, and even more so when I finally get my breast implants, and eventually get a sex change.

I have learned many interesting things today while perusing an OMNI magazine.  I have discovered that genitals are somehow interchangeable.  I had read before of a certain breed of tiger that its females, after giving birth, become virtual males: their clitorises enlarge and protrude, becoming penises.  Similarly, in men of all species, the penis is simply a lump of flesh sticking out of what would normally develop as a vagina.  It's all a matter of hormones.  And gonads.  There are rare cases of people who have testes or ovaries, but who become, by some defect, the opposite sex at birth, or even at puberty!

Now, here I am, wearing, on the outside, men's clothes, but underneath a pair of pantihose which my mother discarded and the black lacy panties which I stole from a friend's sister.  How strange!  How cool it would be if it were possible to switch sex spontaneously. . .

Here is an interesting excerpt from an interview with Roger Gorski, an american biologist:

OMNI:  . . .What is the TFM [testicular feminizing male]?
GORSKI:  Here you have the genetic male whose testes, although undescended, still produce normal amounts of testosterone.  But the TFM has genetically lost the androgen receptor all over the body--including the brain.  This genetic male cannot respond to testosterone.  So what is the phenotype [external characteristics] of this individual?  Female!  Female external sex organs, breasts, body fat distribution.  The internal sex organs, however, are not female.  Early in fetal life the testes produce another hormone, Muellerian duct inhibiting factor [MIF], that suppresses development of such female organs as the uterus and Fallopian tubes.  MIF is not a steroid and doesn't need the androgen receptor to operate.  Apparently MIF is normally secreted in the TFM, because those who function sexually  as women often have to go to a clinician because intercourse is painful.  That's because the deepest part of the vagina devellops from the Muellerian duct, which both sexes possess in early embryonic life and which is suppressed by MIF.

The human male testes also normally secrete small amounts of estrogen.  Because the TFM can't respond to testosterone during the prenatal period of sex differentiation, he develops as a female.  And at puberty, when these testes become active, he responds to the increased quantity of estrogen, developing breasts and becoming sexually active as a female.  These individuals rarely know they are male.  They're born looking like girls, are treated by parents and peers as girls, and so act like girls.  They are both phenotypically and psychosexually female  (132).
Stein, Douglas.  "Interview: Roger Gorski."  Omni Magazine Oct. 1990: 70+. 

Just imagine the possibilities, even in fiction!  I could alter that steamy little tale above a bit and include actual science!  How wonderful!

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