Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Desperation Leads To Naughtiness

Since I had stashed my new stuff in my messenger bag, I had it with me at work all day. I could think of little else. So when the time came to go home, I was compelled to go to the restroom, hide in a stall, and try it on.

I got as far as the hot pants and one stocking before I gave up. It's all very, very small on me, and it was getting complicated. But I still managed to rub one out right there.

See, this is what happens when I go too long without relief!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

I ♥ Halloween

I've had so few opportunities to dress up lately, and my pregnant wife is mostly unable to have sex, so I'm losing my mind. I'm going overboard now, fantasizing about feminization everywhere, always. I've gone so far as to discreetly work on my memoirs project at the office.

Another consequence of this lack of proper release is that I've impulsively increased my already cumbersome wardrobe. I already have so many things stashed away that my hiding place strains with plenitude. Yet I couldn't resist getting some more.

I've never taken advantage of Halloween like this before. Every year I fantasize about maybe getting one of those sexy costumes they make for women, but I generally keep my wits. But not this year. I didn't get myself a full costume, but I did succumb to a few accessories that I just happened to find in the drug store's seasonal Halloween section.

Fishnets with Ruffled Hot Pants
We went to look for Halloween accessories over the weekend, and I happened to notice among the costumes some fishnet tights, and a package of fishnet stockings with ruffled hot pants. These were outrageously adorable, and I fixated on them. I felt like I had to have them. Besides, I haven't had fishnets in years. Also, I'd been wanting a pair of opaque nude pantyhose, which I figured I could buy anywhere.

Yesterday, I made a plan to go to the grocery store on the way to work, which would surely have at least the same type of stuff, as well as the nude pantyhose, which I could purchase discreetly at the self-checkout. Unfortunately, the grocery store had a surprisingly scant selection of Halloween attire, and a pathetic pantyhose section. They did, however, have cheap fishnet tights, so I at least got those.

This failure percolated in my head all day. I made plans to try again on my way home, but this time I would go to the same drug store where I had seen the fishnet stockings with ruffled hot pants. When I got there, it was thankfully almost deserted. This gave me ample opportunity to carefully choose what I wanted. I started with the pantyhose. This store seems to only sell sheer pantyhose. I chose what I thought would be the closest to what I wanted, and returned to the Halloween section at the opposite end of the store.

Now there were a couple of children in the same aisle with me, and I tried to keep it cool as I inspected various packages of feminine accessories, with a package of pantyhose in my hand. I carefully selected an unopened package, checked the size, and verified that everything that was supposed to be in the package was included.

Right next to the costume hosiery were various cheap wigs. I figured I would look a lot more feminine with a decent head of hair, so I inspected those, too. The blonde ones looked very sparse, so I went with black instead.

At the checkout, the clerk didn't raise an eyebrow. It was extremely easy. I went back to my car to inspect my goods, and conceal them in my messenger bag. That's when I discovered that my nude pantyhose is sheer, and therefore not at all what I wanted. But the hot pants and stockings look glorious, and I've been dreaming of them ever since. I'm not sure when I'll ever get to wear them, but I'm on the verge of trying them on somehow with my wife in the house.

This is how desperate I've become. I don't even know where I'm going to keep all of this stuff.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Lingerie Dream

I've been obsessing over trans fiction lately, as I revisit my old diary. I loaded all of the stories from the long-defunct Michelle's Mid-Day Break onto my e-reader. I read a few last night before going to sleep. My wife has terrible eyesight, so she can't see what I'm reading.

I had a hard time falling asleep, excited as I was about stories of feminization. The one I read just happened to involve wearing a bikini. I tossed and turned fantasizing about how life would be if I hadn't met my wife, and I could wear girls' stuff all the time.

In my dream, T__ was having me try on lingerie outfits, mainly consisting of bustiers and panties. I remember being surprised that she would want me to wear girl clothes. I wasn't at all hiding the fact that I wanted to, but she was choosing what I would try on. In particular, I remember wearing a satiny off-white bustier with black panties and stockings, and then trying on a black bustier with the same panties and stockings. I had a flowing white satin robe on as well. I think I wore makeup, too.

How I wish it were true! But sadly, it's just a dream. She told me once about a disturbing dream she had in which she found me "hideous." I asked her to elaborate, expecting that she'd say I looked deformed like Quasimodo or something, but instead, she complained that I looked feminine, which she found repulsive.

Therefore, I continue to prance behind her back.