Sunday, June 30, 2002

Diary: Off the Deep End Overthinking

I have been thinking about my Experience chart, and have decided to reconsider parts of it.

The whole point of the camp is to turn boys into girls.  My experience chart doesn’t factor in any actual feminine deeds.  It’s all very loosely defined.  My new experience chart is far more specific: a man must have accomplished some feat to be considered in a particular level. 

Moreover, this new definition of levels may actually make more sense than my composite scoring method.  
Each man begins in a particular level, and based on his score in the other two categories, lives through his feminization.  But then again, it is quite interesting to have someone secretly at experience level 5, denying his womanhood to himself, beginning at grade 1.


Anyway, experience now comprises of these five levels:


  1. Never even sympathized with a woman.  Has never tried to imagine what it must be like to be a girl.  Usually a macho guy who uses women, treats them like objects, dehumanizes them.
  2. Sympathizer.  Regularly puts himself in the place of women.  Wants to understand them, generally so he can be more successful with them.  Nonetheless, he tries to think like a girl.
  3. Beginning crossdresser.  Has at least once willingly worn an article of women’s underwear or swimwear, with the aim of feeling feminine.  His acts of crossdressing are infrequent.
  4. a) Raging transvestite.  Loves women’s underwear so much, he wears some regularly and often.  Referring back to my old score chart, a man would have to have accumulated a certain number of points to reach this level. b) Cocksucking bitch.  Has played the female role in a penetratory sex act with another man.  Sucking one cock is enough.  
  5. Queen.  Has had a dick inside him and worn women’s underwear the required number of times.  Combination of 4a and 4b.  If a level 3 man sucks cock, he immediately jumps to 4b.  If a level 1 or level 2 gets fucked in the ass, he may get special consideration, but is generally considered to not be mentally ready.  
I also need to rethink my Enthusiasm program.  I still have the opposite extremes, where one would rather die than become a girl, and the other would kill to be a girl.  The man in the middle must be indifferent to his gender.  That leaves me with a man who merely wants to be a girl, and the one who’d rather be a man.  I’m not sure how to define these two.  It’s nice to say that level 2 is curious about femininity, but doesn’t want to commit to it, but that’s not enough.  The point is that he’s curious, but would rather not lose his manhood.  Perhaps the zealous ones who are merely curious just can’t help themselves.

Now I re-jig my list.

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